Thursday, March 17, 2016

What Define You?

Hi, Assalamualaikum :)

First thing first, nak share quote yang terlintas dalam kepala pasal topik ni:
"You are not defined by your past, but for what you are in the present"
Ok, sekarang bayangkan korang berkawan rapat dengan seseorang yang mempunyai pendidikan sehingga ke tahap Sarjana (Masters). Mesti rasa kagum kan? Ok, bayangkan lagi yang seseorang tu sekarang dalam pengajian peringkat Doktor Falsafah (PhD.). Bertambah kagum, kan? First impression mesti akan terlintas "Wahh, hebatnya boleh sambung PhD! Bukan semua orang mampu nak sambung sampai peringkat tinggi macam tu." And the list goes on and on and on. Semuanya penuh dengan puji-pujian, ayat-ayat kagum semua tu lah.

Plot twist sikit. What if kalau aku cakap orang tu sebenarnya waktu zaman remaja/muda/teenagers, dia seseorang yang boleh dikategorikan sebagai rebellious? Sangat-sangat rebellious. Memang jenis tak makan saman lah orang kata. Degil, keras kepala, kepala batu semua ada. Nak ikut peraturan? Memang tidak lah jawabnya. Cakap je peraturan apa lagi yang belum dilanggar. So, sekarang ni nak tanya semula. Adakah first impression korang tadi masih kekal atau dah terserong sikit? Masih kagumi dia atau korang dah mula skeptikal? Masih nak berkawan seadanya atau pilih nak menghakimi masa lalu dia?

Ok la, sebenarnya terpulang pada korang la nak buat apa dengan friendship korang. Tapi tengok balik quote kat atas tu. Past is past. Itu masa lalu dia, yang mana dia sendiri malu bila ingat balik. Kalau boleh undur masa, agaknya dia sendiri pun nak tebus balik kesalahan masa lalu dia tu. Thinking back, itu zaman remaja. Biasalah zaman rebel, bezanya cuma tahap rebellious tu je. Ada yang tak berapa nak rebel sangat, baiiiiik aje. Ada yang hell gila perangai sampai orang boleh kata "tak jadi orang la budak ni". Alah, zaman sekolah dulu mesti korang ada kenal orang macam ni kan? Aku dulu pun rebel juga. Dari Kuantan turun KL tak bagitahu parents. Tapi sudahnya kantoi jugak. Berasap la telinga kena bebel. Kalau teringat balik rasa macam heiii kenapa lah aku buat  macam tu dulu. Tak boleh fikir ke apa?

Tapi itulah realitinya. Waktu kita buat dulu tu fikir seronok je. Fikir lepas diri sendiri je. Akal tak panjang nak fikir baik buruk. Tang nak buat nakal tu je akal panjang. Bila dah dewasa sikit ni baru la rasa macam nak cepuk diri sendiri sebab baru terasa kebodohan buat keputusan/tindakan macam tu. Agaknya kalau tak dimarah, ditegur, entah apa jadi la agaknya sekarang. Betul tak?

So, berbalik semula pada quote kat atas tu. Siapa kita adalah kita yang sekarang. Apa yang kita dah buat untuk masyarakat, untuk agama, untuk negara. Paling penting, untuk diri kita sendiri. Adakah kita berubah ke arah kebaikan atau makin buruk? Tak dinafikan lah sekarang pun kita mungkin belum cukup matang nak buat keputusan besar, tapi sekurangnya makin baik menilai baik buruk. Harapnya lah. Sejujurnya, aku tak rasa aku ni cukup matang walaupun ramai orang cakap aku lagi matang dari usia aku. Aku ada je lagi sikap budak-budak tu. Mengada-ada. Manja. Memang ada, cumanya tak ketara sangat kecuali dengan sesetengah orang yang aku selesa.

So, bear in mind that we are nobody to judge someone else's past. Let them deal with their past on their own. Focus on what they are now, the person they have become no matter how bad their past was. If you have a bad past, believe that you still have hope to change for the better. Like they said, tiada orang baik yang tiada masa lampau, tiada orang jahat yang tiada masa depan". There is still hope, people. Believe in it.


p/s: This is based on a true story told by someone to me. Name is private and confidential but what I can tell is that she is now indeed pursuing a PhD which I'm very proud of. She even said this, "Saya pun tak sangka saya jadi orang sekarang." I'm not really someone who judges other people and I'm not gonna judge her past because I'm much more interested in what she has become.

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Learn To Grow Up

Hello, assalamualaikum :)

To those who are waiting for my Japan trip, head over to my other blog please. Here's the link: Miya's

Ermm, actually takde idea pun nak tulis. Just nak luahkan perasaan sikit. Sikit je lah haha. Nak cakap pasal maturity and friendship. Tajuk common dan rasanya ramai je yang pernah melalui fasa-fasa ni, cuma cara nak handle tu berbeza, I guess. 

Okay, sebagaimana semua orang tahu, aku pergi bercuti kat Jepun baru-baru ni. All my close friends knew ever since the tickets were booked because I'm kepochi like that hahaha. But surprise, surprise... ada seorang yang aku tak bagitahu. Dah la tak ajak, tak bagitahu pulak tu! Sebab apa tak ajak dan tak bagitahu? Nak ajak cemana kalau dia lancarkan perang dingin selama 5 bulan, satu hapah berita pun takdak. Korang mungkin tanya, tak contact ke? Of course I did! Tapi kalau dah 2 minggu kau try call/mesej tak reply, kau nak buat apa lagi? Lelama aku pun give up lah jugak sebab ni bukan first time dia buat macam ni. Aku dah kenal sangat perangai dia, jadi aku pun stop contact dia. Thing is kan, rapat cemana pun kau dengan kawan kau tu, or BFF sekali pun, kalau kerap sangat dia buat perang dingin tanpa sebab, kau rasa kau mampu ke tahan sabar je? Lelama kau pun penat jugak nak layan. Bukan kau je, kawan-kawan kau pun sama penat sebab kena dengar 'drama' kau yang berulang ni. Kalah Astro!

Maka, nak dijadikan cerita lah kan, kononnya nak bagitahu la sehari sebelum fly. Tapi fikir balik, nanti karang lagi dia sentap bila dah nak pergi baru bagitahu. Gila susah kot nak tahan dari bagitahu especially through Whatsapp sebab dia pun berura-ura nak pergi holiday overseas. Perghh seksa dalam hati tu, Allah je yang tahu! Tu yang sudahnya aku tak bagitau pun hahahaha. Dah la kat Jepun tu tak dapat wifi, memang aku tak bukak Whatsapp la. Bukak pun cuma dr family and Kak Izan je. Tu pun dah kena jeling sebab aku tak bukak Google Maps ahahaha. Nak update Instagram? Harapan laa. Menyelit2 je update.

Agaknya dia ternampak kot aku update Instagram (sebab dia selalu kata kat FB tak nampak aku punya update), jadinya dia pun dah tahu la aku pergi bercuti overseas. Sebagai penambah perisa, travel buddy aku adalah seseorang yang dikenali jugak. Lagi la menghangatkan hati dia kan? Dah la tak ajak, tak bagitahu, pastu pergi pulak dengan orang yang dia kenal. Perghhh!

Balik dari cuti tu, aku tak terus contact pun. Dah 2,3 hari baru lah aku contact. Itu pun aku masih tak sentuh isu travel tu. Aku cuma tanya pasal body mist Body Shop aje. Saje la kan nak tahu dia pernah try ke body mist tu sebab dia kan suka pergi kedai tu. Rasanya ada 2 hari jugak la baru blue tick. Esoknya aku saje usik cakap busy sangat sampai tak reply. Sampai sudah tak blue tick weh! Gituhhhh. Tapi tengok last seen berubah je, profile pic pun berubah. Sesuatu sangat kan? Lol.

Hahaha sudahnya aku mampu gelak je. Aku assume dia sentap lah pasal trip ni sebabnya takkan la tetiba taknak reply mesej aku. Bukan aku ada buat salah pun. Like seriously kau sentap? Hadoi laa. Come on, bukan baru umur belasan tahun. Lagipun kau lebih dari mampu nak pergi sendiri. I mean, kalau kau mampu beli phone yang harganya sama dengan total perbelanjaan aku untuk trip ni, takkan kau tak mampu pergi kan? Boleh naik MAS lagi agaknya! Aku mampu AirAsia je lah, tu pun lepas 50% off. Kalau tak, tak jejak la aku ke negara matahari terbit tu.

So, aku nak cakap kat sini, learn to grow up and be mature, please. Masing-masing dah besar panjang, boleh buat decision sendiri. Kau patutnya happy sebab kawan kau dapat jugak pergi travel sendiri without parents. Ingat senang ke mak ayah aku nak kasi lepas? Kau pun boleh jugak. Aku tak rasa parents kau akan halang pun. Toksah la nak sentap ke, terasa hati ke apa. Buang masa je semua tu. Takkan la dengan kawan sendiri pun kau nak terasa sampai camni sekali? Jadi matang sikit k? Aku tau kau lebih dari mampu nak travel macam ni, in fact maybe kau takkan rasa pun tersekat dengan limited budget macam kitorang sebab kau anak orang senang. Kitorang dua ni orang sederhana je, nak pergi ni pun kerja keras macam nak rak tau!

Lagipun, kalau kau ikut kitorang hari tu, aku tak rasa kau boleh adapt dengan hectic life kat sana. I mean, kau sendiri pernah cakap kau tak suka nak guna public transport etc etc. Kitorang kat sana takde sekali pun guna taxi okay. Sama ada jalan/naik train je. Kau sanggup nak berlari-lari kat train station pastu dengan sesatnya lagi? I'm sorry having to say this, but I don't think you'll suit backpacker/traveller style trip. You are surely to be a tourist, where everything is of easy access. Just... grow up, okay? Learn to be happy for others. They deserve it too.

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Japan Trip!

Hello, assalamualaikum :)

Sebagaimana title di atas, yes, awal Februari hari tu aku pergi Jepun selama 9 hari. Well, 8 hari la kalau nak tolak arrival date yang sebenarnya malam tu haha. Agak lama lah plan, few months jugak tapi 2, 3 bulan sebelum pergi tu baru serius perancangannya. Nak buat cemana, dedua still tengah dalam semester lagi, so busy. Dedua? Hahaha yess, this is a duo trip. I went with my schoolmate, Zaf. And ni bukan holiday, ni travel. Sebab gaya memang macam local.

The trip was actually quite impromptu. Sebabnya Zaf tetiba call (ke mesej tah) cakap AirAsia tengah ada promo 50% off for all tickets and nak tak pergi Jepun. Masa tu macam percaya tak percaya je. Memang la, AirAsia selalu buat promo, cuma macam tak percaya ada orang ajak pergi Jepun haha. Within seconds, the answer is YES (dah macam bg persetujuan nak kahwin!) So Zaf arranged pasal ticket bookings while I.. err.. buat research sikit2? Hahaha. And so the planning begins.

Kitorang sepatutnya fly on 21st January but due to certain circumstances, the date was changed to February 1. Tapi bagus jugak sebab 23rd January tu abang Zaf kahwin. Bila dah tukar tarikh, takde la dia terlepas majlis tu. Our flight was at 2.40pm (local time GMT +8), bound for Haneda. Supposedly Narita, but duhhh AirAsia! Honestly, even dah dalam flight pun aku sempat tanya Zaf, "Are we really on our way to Tokyo?". Punya lah tak percaya, even dah dalam flight!

Arrived at Haneda International Airport at 10.30pm (local time GMT +9), and so... our journey begins. Baru jejak Tokyo pun dah ada insiden, apa lagi 8 hari kemudian. Hehehe. Want to know more? Stay tuned at Miya's blog (a diff blog because this blog is too embarassing)!

See you soon!

Thursday, December 3, 2015

Been Missing for Long

Hai :)

Same words, same words. It's just that I don't even know what to write here anymore. I don't even have something nice to update. I'm so messed up!

In the end, I'll just write craps here and no one wants to read crap. Should organize my thoughts again. Haih. Anyway, at this rate, this might be my last post in 2015. Wow, I could really count how many posts I've been writing in 2015. Well, till we meet again, insyaAllah.

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

New Ones or Delete?

Hi, Assalamualaikum :)

I'm wondering, should I make a new blog or delete the old posts? I know, I know I barely update this blog, but idk, for the sake of moving on? Hahah, it's not like I'm gonna be here all the time because I suck at NOT writing about my personal feelings. Trust me, that behaviour has hurt many people.

I'm getting better, though. I control and suppress my feelings first before anything. Or at least, I did it in a non-direct way haha. Sarcasm much, huh?

Anyways, give me your thoughts.

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Long Forgotten

Assalamualaikum, hai! :)

Haihhh, lama dah tinggal blog ni. Nak buat camne, byk sgt social media account nak manage. Instagram lah, Facebook lah, Tumblr lah.. macam2. Currently focusing on Tumblr. Heee. :D

Tumblr tu pun actually dah lama tinggal, but I love that account, though. Sebab bila tgh broken-hearted, mesti ada update yang akan terkena kat batang hidung hahah. Makanya mampu tersenyum aje, sampil mengelap air mata. Don't get me wrong, I'm not in love with anyone. Tahukah anda, patah hati sebab kawan lebih perit dari putus cinta? Haa, gitu la maksud aku.


Diibaratkan macam ni lah. Well, I admit I'm not a good friend, because I'm usually emotionally distant. Seriously, you may tell me any thing, but I probably wouldn't know how to react. You have my attention alright, but you wouldn't get the desired reaction hahah.

So, forgive me friends. Kehkeh. It's not that I don't try to be better, but my past made me this way. Why? Well, lets not get back to the past, shall we? I'm not proud of it, AT ALL. It's not easy to change, but I'm trying to. :)

So, till we meet again. In case you miss me (I'm sure no one does) do drop by my FB account. Or Instagram. Preferably Instagram because I update it quite frequent. Toodles. XOXO.

Sunday, October 26, 2014

For The Sake of Updating

Well, hello, Assalamualaikum :)

As stated in the title, yeap, it's just for the sake of updating. Too many social networks and I can't keep up anymore. Too many passwords to remember that I have to reset every time I log in. Alzheimer much, huh?

Soooo.. I'm currently a Part 5 student a.k.a a third year student of law school. 3 more semesters, and I'm off. Whoaaa, time sure flies fast huh? I felt like it's only yesterday I entered law school hahaha.

During my semester break I went for an attachment program (required by the faculty) at Nazri Azmi Islinda. It's a law firm by the way, at Bangi. Okay, to sum up my experience, lets just say I actually felt sad to leave the office. I gained new friends there (hello Kak Azreen and Kak Izan!!!) and I learnt a LOT of things. Most memorable moment is when I get the chance to go to the court ALONE to present a case. Err.. it's mention on behalf (MOB) actually. I'm not qualified to stand before a Magistrate. So I had to ask for another lawyer's help. Thank you random lawyer! Another great thing, my pay is waaaaaay more than what is promised! Thank you Boss for the faith you gave hahaha!

So what else? I'm doing fine I guess, for third year. Well, there are times that I cried while doing an assignment due to overloaded stress and being scolded by my lecturer for asking too many questions for the assignment (yeah, like WTH?!) I'm hoping that this year, err semester, would flow smoothly, insyaALLAH. 

Till we meet again, goodbye for now.
xoxoxo

Saturday, July 19, 2014

*Blow Dust*

Assalamualaikum :)

Whoa, come to think of it, it's been quite a while since I last update this blog. Maybe the fact that I have too many 'social networks' that I felt there's no need to update it here.

Seriously, I've got Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr yada yada. And soon I'd be forgetting this site again haha. Sorry dear blog. It's not like anyone is keeping up with my life, anyway. Why bother?

I should close this site, but I can't. No reason, just because. Anyways, do drop by my other social networks in case you're so curious about my life. IF you are. My life's boring, I've warned you.

So, bye for now.

Friday, April 18, 2014

Controlling Speed

Hai, assalamualaikum! :)

I guess parents really have a way to control their kid's driving speed. Today I had to drive behind my dad's car and I can tell that he's only driving for 50km/j.

How I know? Well just look at my meter speed, and I can tell how fast my dad's going.  Ohh god, really?  that's waaaay too slow daddy.

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Keseronokan Law School

Hai, Assalamualaikum!

Lama betul tinggal blog ni. Almaklum sejak ada Dayre ni kan, lebih mudah nak update. HAHAHA. Okay back to story.

This might be a lil bit irony for me to speak of this, as I have no passion in law. Why I'm still here? Well, it's already my second year and I just need to survive another 2 years. No law school is no fun, really. Unless you have passion lah. But somehow I managed to find few.

1.Absurd Cases
    Main thing in law school, you'll have at least 500 cases to read in a semester. Well, that depends if you really read all those cases. As for me, NO. I'll only read the landmark cases and the ones relevant to my final questions which later explains my bad grades. The fun thing in reading cases is that, some cases are just absurd, especially in criminal law. There's more to criminal law than murder, okay. It's a wide scope. Some facts in the case are just funny and while you're reading you'll find yourself amused. Example, a provocation is not to be raised as a defence if the victim is exercising his right to private defence, thus the offender would still be liable. In a case I read, the offender claimed he was provoked by the victim, thus he is not to commit any offence. How can you claim you are protecting yourself when that person is also protecting himself? That is just ABSURD.

2. Getting Mad
     Well, I wouldn't really call this fun in law school, but somehow law school never fails to drives you mad. You can get mad at the tests, assignments, cases, tutorials and all sorts. I remembered getting so nervous and used up when I had 3 tests in a row (all required readings) and it is not a surprised I failed one of the test miserably. Expected the fail, but can't accept the fact, hahah. Getting mad is actually good because it keeps you occupied with the works and motivated to end it up as soon as possible. Where's the fun? The fun is when you finally finish all the works and satisfied with the result of your hard work.

3. Pretending You're A Lawyer
    The best part, you can pretend you're a lawyer, although you are far from qualified. You decide how you should handle the problems handed before you and crack up your head to solve. A huge amount of time is required to make the research but hey! This is an early practice before you really crack up your head. Mind you, your eyes and mind will be extremely tired from looking at the books and the computer. I literally lose my sight for 10 minutes as the after effect of looking at the computer for too long.

HAHAHA, I think this is the only fun in law school. You'll get bored and tired eventually but hey, no other course is easy. Every course has its own difficulties and it depends on you to solve it. Have fun in learning. I may hate law school, but I enjoy learning it. Okay, I hate the exams actually.

I'll have to get used to it every time.